how do you get your husband to help clean

[pink_princess]

the house more often?

[longshotxx]

Ask him to. Often.

[YouKnowIt]

Omigosh! First, don't count on him ever cleaning to either your standard or schedule...it just doesn't work that way, I'm sorry to say. Hey, you want the truth, right? Hehehehe...Here are some tricks I've utilized with my husband; some of them easy, some of them a little more nasty or evil:If you cook for him every night, you have some excellent leverage. I didn't cook for my husband for nearly two months at one point because the man was incapable of remembering to take out the trash. When he'd get upset, I calmly commented that, if he couldn't remember the trash, how was I supposed to be able to cook which, of course, helps to make more trash? After a number of weeks of soup & other assorted things that my non-chef spouse could make for himself, he started asking if I needed the trash taken out.From a less evil bent, you might try writing him notes. You always see those little "honey-do" lists in the stores...well, there's a reason for them. This is just my opinion, but I honestly think that men need to see it written "in stone" to feel that it is important At least this is how my husband is. If I write it down & allow about three times the amount of time for getting it done than I think it should take, I have no problem in getting him to help me out on a regular basis. Trick is that "regular" is a different term where he is concerned. For me, I make up a little list, give it to him about mid-week & then remind him on Friday (he is off three days a week). If it hasn't been touched by Sunday afternoon, I tease him about it, commenting that we might need to go out to dinner that night He loves my cooking so that normally gets his hinney up off of the couch.Then there's always the silent treatment, which I honestly feel works wonders in the proper relationship. There are a few things that I just get SO tired of asking about & I get annoyed. Well, when I stop talking about it & do it right in front of him...loudly...he normally gets the message. Unfortunately for him, by that time I am more than just a little annoyed Still, it tends to work well in our house.Finally, there's the ideal that we'd all like to believe exists...sitting down & asking him to help. Don't get me wrong, asking him to help often works but the often part of that equation is what might send you to the looney bin! Along these lines, however, I have been known to employ what I call the deliberate nag...I ask, I remind, I remind again a little more forcibly & when he gets annoyed & tells me that I'm nagging him, I calmly but rather forcibly turn to face him & inform him that I wouldn't have to "nag" (must always put emotion into that word, BTW) if he would listen to what I say. Followed with a little silence as you move off to do whatever it is you want to do away from him, this can work wonders. As I mentioned, when I stop talking to him, he knows there's a problem.Does any of this really work? Well, he still can't find the clothes hamper & I normally don't let him do the laundry but, after five years of marriage, I can normally ask him to do something & have it done by the end of the weekend.Oh yes, MOST important! Always, always, always, give him a timeframe for completion & never let on that you have adjusted it to match how slow you know he is about getting things done. Also, if you need something done right away, it is not rude & not a nagging thing to comment that you need it done now or in the next few minutes...you're simply letting him know that you need his help immediately. Just a tag on this...asking for the help at the time I needed it has worked well with my husband...he likes doing the tasks with me & feeling that we are working together. Took him nearly five years to inform me of this little piece of news, but it has helped a great deal...

[Xiomara R]

Make sure you never say no to sex and second once in a while get bitchy about everything and look depressed. That usually works for me if he sees me depressed he usually tries to do something to cheer me up. The other night he did the dishes and cooked dinner.

[betrayedhusband]

Offer to be his French maid assistant, get the costume and work on the bedroom last Seriously. When I first married I was almost 31. I knew how to keep my apartment neat, did laundry, etc. My now ex-wife was hypercritcal of how I folded the towels, etc.Guess what, I lost my incentive to do these things. I wanted someone to thank me for being willing to help, not criticize how or when I did it.For any given job you get one decision who does it or how it's done. That's a great piece of advice. If you decide he is going to do it, then keep your mouth shut about how he does it unless he asks. If you want to say how it's done, then he gets to decide if he is going to do it or let you do it to your standards.It's not that guys don't want to help. Most of us just don't want the criticism with doing things our way.So if you want him to help, more encouragement, more reward and hold the criticism.